He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
