this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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