Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
