So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
