Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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