My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
