M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
