in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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