the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
