Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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