She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
