How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I seem to have left my pride at pride
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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