I met the friendliest cop last night
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Randomize
