so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
