Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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