My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
