She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
