We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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