She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
