either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My balls are so social today.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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