it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
