i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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