Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
