my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
