It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
