ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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