so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
