You smell like stripper and shame
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
