i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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