Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize