Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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