You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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