the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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