Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
