i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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