So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
