Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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