wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
