Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
