Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
