like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Green mimosas i think yes
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
