Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
