i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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