Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
