Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
