I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
The ass gains better be worth it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
