Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize