OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
