we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
