I hate all girls vehemently.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
