my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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