GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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