Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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