thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it's not cheating when I paid for it
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
