C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
