now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
