dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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