I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
