i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
